Musing about Walking the Infinite

First off I was wondering what people think of this:

In WALKING THE INFINITE, Tom’s life’s devotion and dream was to finally get that promotion, the corner office, and all the perks. One night he was offered a chance to try it out, and it was everything he wanted and more. That more included a wife who wants a divorce, a boss with whom he’s having an affair, and the animosity of his coworkers. Tom now just wants to wake up from his dream turned nightmare.

Does this peak your interest? Is it too much, too little, or just right? Do you want a concluding question wondering how Tom gets back to his old life? These are just some of the things I’m working on to see if I let this go into the real world. The screenplay is ready for another try, I think, except for maybe the opening scene. I’m still not sold on it completely, so I am going to go back and make sure it really does serve not only it’s purpose, but also does it have the correct feel for the rest of the screenplay. I think visually it will hammer the point home, but I’m worried my discussion of it is a bit week. Here’s what I have (Please excuse the caps and formatting. I took it out of word and the copy lost all of it.):

FADE IN:

EXT. FIVE HUNDRED FEET ABOVE A BUSY CHICAGO STREET - NOON

People move along the sidewalks in a constant ebb and flow, like threads woven in a large tapestry.

EXT. TWO HUNDRED FEET ABOVE OUTDOOR FOOD CART - NOON

The lunch vender cart forms a dam in the tide of people flowing along the sidewalk, allowing those waiting in line not to be jostled by the steady stream.

EXT. OUTDOOR FOOD CART - NOON

TOM BRADLEY is getting a hotdog topped off with chili. He looks around at the crowd forcing their way past the cart and shakes his head. He plunges into the crowd and gets swept away in the wave of humanity.

EXT. BUSY STREET - NOON

Tom walks slowly, trying not to wear the chili as people hurriedly spill around him.

Time slows as Tom looks up and sees an image of himself, OTHER TOM, checking out an attractive woman passing by. Other Tom is wearing a severe suit with a blazing yellow tie. Tom looks to his right and sees another SELF IMAGE wearing a cowboy hat and carrying a guitar who waves at him.

A WOMAN comes through the crowd from behind Tom and bumps him, causing Tom to fumble his hotdog.

Time speeds back up and Other Tom and Self Image fade away as Tom spills the chili all down his front.

TOM
What the hell?

WOMAN
Watch where you’re going!

VISION TOM steps up out of thin air gets in the woman’s face.

VISION TOM
No, you watch where you’re going, you dumb…

The Vision Tom fades away. The Woman is still staring at Tom.

TOM
Sorry, I was daydreaming there.

The Woman shakes her head and walks away as Tom tries to clean up the mess with a small napkin.

Tom finishes and is about to cross the street when a BOOMING VOICE stops him.

BOOMING VOICE
You there. Have you ever walked the infinite?

What do you think? I’m thinking of getting rid of at least one other Tom to make it simpler to read, even though I would love to have a bunch of other Toms in the opening scene, just to show that something is different here. If someone wants to read it just let me know and I’ll send it to you. Also, if anyone has a good idea on how to shoot multiple Toms with stuff I have at my house (green screen (can get one), software (which one to use), Hi def camera) then maybe I would try shooting it here, but change it to a small town instead of Chicago (though I do like the idea of this being in Chicago).